Random Silliness: Playing Without Starter Decks

This was originally posted on usenet (rec.games.trading-cards.misc) when it was easier to find booster cards than starter decks, and, therefore harder to get new players into the game.

The Top Five Ways to Play Guardians
if You Can't Find Any Starters!

C. J. Burke

1. Use the "All Swamps are Shields" rule and put your forces behind the banner of "Parkinson's Murk".
   
   
2. Use Leftover Walls of Wood from Magic for your strongholds -- with a Wall of Stone in the center, providing 0/3, 0/8, 0/3 protection.
   
   
3. New Guardian: El Rey de los Corazones -- The King of Hearts. And remember, they don't call him "The Suicide King" for nothing.
   
   
4. Forget the rulebook -- just play Poker: "My four Slag Beasts beats your Mortal straight."
   
   
5. Turn Phases/Combat Summary Card?? Oh, please! Go out and buy a *real* coaster.

Christopher J. Burke
5/30/97

New Class: Gargoyles

Gargoyles

I wanted to create my own class of creatures for Guardians, but I wanted something based on existing fantasy. I came upon the idea of Gargoyles: those old water spouts on the tops of buildings that came to symbolize the ultimate protectors. I came up with several cards in one batch that I liked.

I decided that to give them a class ability in the way that all Ogres are immune to channeling. This would help in making a deck concept for them. I settled on the line "Gargoyles cannot be the target of Spells." I think that is a handy benefit that isn't totally unbalancing to gameplay. On the other hand, I haven't thought about whether or not Ice Storm targets a particular creature or your entire Combat Hand. This may sound a little picky, but there are dozens of rulings on issues like this in the Magic: the Gathering rules.

Here are the cards that I presented on the Guardians mailing list:

Granite Gargoyle:

Elemental, Vitality 12, OCB 3, Large, Flying, Gargoyle, CMP 0, green bar.
Immune to Hand Magic Items. Gargoyles cannot be the target of Spells.

Stone Gargoyle:

Elemental, Vitality 9, OCB 2, Large, Flying, Gargoyle, CMP 0, green bar.
+3 in Dry Heaps. Gargoyles cannot be the target of Spells.

Ice Gargoyle:

Elemental, Vitality 8, OCB 2, Large, Flying, Gargoyle, CMP 0, green bar.
Immune to Undead. Gargoyles cannot be the target of Spells.

Snow Gargoyle:

Elemental, Vitality 8, OCB 1, Large, Flying, Gargoyle, CMP 0, green bar.
+3 in Mountains. Gargoyles cannot be the target of Spells.

Iron Gargoyle:

Elemental, Vitality 10, OCB 3, Large, Flying, Gargoyle, CMP 0, green bar.
Immune to fire. Gargoyles cannot be the target of Spells.

Guardian Gargoyle:

Elemental, Vitality 6, OCB 0, Large, Flying, Gargoyle, CMP 0, green bar.
5 pt ranged attack, only usable if primary attacker is a Mortal. Gargoyles cannot be the target of Spells.

Avenging Gargoyle:

Elemental, Vitality 7, OCB 1, Large, Flying, Gargoyle, CMP 0, green bar.
-3 as primary attacker, +3 as a secondary attacker. Gargoyles cannot be the target of Spells.

Argyle Gargoyle:

Elemental, Vitality 5, OCB 0, Large, Flying, Gargoyle, CMP 0, green bar.
Destroys Golfer, Gopher and Caddy. Gargoyles cannot be the target of Spells.

Vampire Gargoyle:

External, Vitality 8, OCB 1, Large, Flying, Undead/Gargoyle, CMP 0, green bar.
If Vampire beats an opponent who has accepted channeling in this combat, your opponent loses 1 Power Stone. This Gargoyle CAN be the target of Spells.

Note that in the Seven Seas fan expansion set, there is a card called Gargoyle Rendevous. If isn't one of my cards. I don't know if it was inspired by my cards. It doesn't appear to be based on the ones above.

New Class: Dwarves

Dwarves

Back in 1998, I mentioned that I'd like to see some of the prime fantasy races that were missing from Guardians. In a message that dates back to at least 1999, I asked what creature class would you like to see added. My first response was Dwarves. Here was my rationale:

"From a fantasy perspective: there are no Dwarves. Elves are
represented by "fairies", though for some reason, Pixies and
Leprechauns aren't included as "fairies". But there are no
Dwarves. And I'd rather see fantasy-inspired (though not
necessarily Tolkien) dwarves than cutesy Disney ripoffs."

Here are all the cards that Dwarf cards that I have mentioned on the list. The only card that isn't here is Dwarven Mining Companies, because I never actually created it. It was supposed to be a land where you couldn't bribe by Gold. (Other possible titles for that land were Lost Cities of Gold or Treasure Island.) I decided not to include it now, mainly because the Seven Seas fan expansion has included a similar terrain card.

On the other hand, the Seven Seas also includes a card that is essentially the same thing as the Dwarven Tunneling Machine with a different name. (Naturally, they couldn't have used my card if the didn't include some Dwarves. And that doesn't mean that they took my card and changed it. Thierry had a similar idea and used it.)

As I did with Gargoyles, I gave Dwarves a class attribute. In this case, it was "Immune to Giants". Why? First, Dwarves would get really squished by Giants. Second, there is some fantasy literature to suggest that they might be. Both classes usually occupy mountain dwellings although not necessarily peacefully. Giants are generally above, and Dwarves below.

Here are my Dwarf cards:

Dwarven Fighter

Mortal, Vitality 5, OCB 2, Small, Beer, Dwarf,
CMP 0, red bar.
+3 in Mountains. Immune to Giants.

Dwarven Weaponsmith

Mortal, Vitality 4, OCB 1, Small, Beer, Dwarf,
CMP 0, red bar.
+1 Vitality to all your Dwarves while Weaponsmith is in play. Immune to Giants.

Dwarven Tunneling Machine

Creature Magic Item, Up 5
An all-Dwarves shield may move past a Mountains terrain that they wouldn't be able to bypass normally. All other movement restrictions apply. Cannot be used on Stronghold spaces.

Dwarven Hammer Thrower

Mortal, Vitality 4/6, OCB 1, Small, Beer, Dwarf, CMP 0, red bar. 4-point ranged attack. Immune to Giants.

Dwarven Mining Operation

Hand Magic Item, Up 13
Play during the Terrain Settlement Phase. If an all Dwarf shield turned in place on a Mountain and did not move, fight or reinforce this turn, gain two power stones.

Dwarven Armorer

Mortal, Vitality 3, OCB 1, Small, Beer, Dwarf, CMP 0, red bar.
C: You may spend 1 stone or discard one Magic Item to increase any Dwarf's Vitalty by 4.

Dwarven Lord

Mortal, Vitality 8, OCB 3, Small, Babes, Dwarf, CMP 0, red bar.
All of your Dwarves gain +3 Vitality for the rest of combat. Immune to Giants.

Dwarven Nomad

Mortal, Vitality 4, OCB 3, Small, Beer, Dwarf, CMP 0, red bar.
Immune to fear, except in the Woods. Immune to Giants.

The Table of Elements, Part 2

The Table of Elements

Part Two

Continuing

Overlords:

All Overlords are Large Beer drinkers.

• Rey, Overlord of Trees, Vitality 4, OCB 2
  (C):For the duration of combat, the disputed land space being fought upon is considered to be the Woods. No ranged attacks.
  
• Gnorg,Overlord of Swamps, Vitality 6, OCB 1
  (C):For the duration of combat, the disputed land space being fought upon is considered to be Swamps.
  
• Ix, Overlord of the Waters, Vitality 5, OCB 1
  (C):For the duration of combat, the disputed land space being fought upon is considered to be Rivers & Lakes.
  
• Uras, Overlord of Mountains, Vitality 2, OCB 2, Channeling Receiver,
  (C):For the duration of combat, the disputed land space being fought upon is considered to be Mountains.
  
• Slor, Overlord of the Wastes, Vitality 5, OCB 2
  (C):For the duration of combat, the disputed land space being fought upon is considered to be the Dry Heaps.
  
• Baezhu, Overlord of Twisted Ways, Vitality 2, OCB 2
  (C):For the duration of combat, the disputed land space being fought upon is considered to be Spires.
  
• George, Overlord of the Jungle *, Vitality 1, OCB 0
  (C):For the duration of combat, the disputed land space being fought upon is considered to be the Jungle. Opponent's command card is dispelled. (Note G)
  
• Cranston, Overlord of Limbo *, Vitality 1, OCB 0
  (C):For the duration of combat, the disputed land space being fought upon is considered to be face-down terrain. (Note H)

Elemental Lords:

All Elemental Lords are Medium-sized-sized Babe watchers

• Iron Lord, Vitality 10 OCB 1, 3 pt fear AOE. When played, +3 pts to the AOEfor each different type of Elemental Lord in play.
  
• Rock Lord, Vitality 12 OCB 1, 3 pt fear AOE. When played, +3 pts to the AOEfor each different type of Elemental Lord in play.
  
• Sand Lord, Vitality 11 OCB 3, +6 Vitality in Dry Heaps, -6 in Woods
  
• Lava Lord *, Vitality 9 OCB 1, +5 Vitality in Mountains, -5 in Rivers and Lakes (Note I)
  
• Mud Elemental Lord *, Vitality 13 OCB 3, +7 Vitality in Swamps, -7 in Spires.All your Mud Elementals are +2 Vitality while Mud Elemental Lord isin play. (Note J)

Related Creatures, Spells and Magic Items:

• Alchemist *, Mortal, Vitality 5/9, Medium-sized, Gold, Wizard, Channeling Receiver, CMP 5.Can channel to Elements only, even Elements that normally cannotreceive channelling. (Note K)
  
  
• Periodic Table *, Hand Magic Item, Up 12.(Picture: A big stone dining table with several of the above elementals sitting around it, eating and drinking).Play as a command card. Name any one Element. The creature named cannot fight and doesn't count for control of the space. (Both sides) (Note L)
  
  
• Chemistry Set *, Hand Magic Item, Up 19.Play as a command card. For one stone, you may play any Element on top of another Element already in a match-up. The combined 'Compound' has a Vitality and Off-Color Bonus equal to the sum of the two Elements, but can only accept channeling if the first creature could. The text box of the second Element is blank and the creature class becomes 'Compound'. If the combined creature loses the match-up, both creatures are beaten. (Note M)

Notes:

G - Catch 22! Jungles don't allow command cards, so can you have a command card that doesn't allow command cards??

H - Remember, face-down isn't terrainless. So your Tiger Baloos get a bonus, but your Silver Servers don't. Then again, no one else gets a bonus, either.

I - From an earlier sig file. You can't make these Elemental Lords too small, however, because that AOE can really get dangerous.

J - From an earlier sig file (Creature Class Critique #18). I sort of combined the Sand Lord ability with the Vampire Lord.

K - Alchemist bribable by Gold? Makes sense, doesn't it? Sure, he can make his (her?) own, but why bother when it's free. He needs at least CMP 5 because Elements are big creatures, but he also needs a higher stacking penalty than the Necromancer because of the "even though that normally ..." clause.

L - Bad puns are necessary. If I'm putting in all the pro-Element stuff, you need a bogey card.

M - I wasn't trying to create a really big ranged attack, that's why either both win or both lose (but they aren't destroyed, that's too much). The second text box is blanked to prevent sneaky tricks that I haven't thought of yet. And the wordy change in creature class is so you can't do it twice.

The Table of Elements, Part 1

The Table of Elements

Part One

First of all, there is some confusion in the game between "Elements" and "Elementals". This is due to the fact that the entire category of creatures with brown borders are called "Elementals". However, there is also a class of creatures called "Element", which includes creatures that are the embodiment of the natural (and some unnatural or supernatural) elements around us. These creatures have names like Greater Air Elemental.

Anytime the game refers to "Elementals", they are almost always referring to every brown-bordered creature in the game. When they only want to refer to those creatures with "Elemental" in the creatures' names, they are refering to the class called "Element".

It really isn't as confusing as it sounds.

With that out of the way, I would like to present a compilation of all the Elements in Guardians, including some that don't exist in the game. (I have marked those with asterisks.)

The "real" cards from the game are included so that you can see which gaps I have filled in. All Elements are Elementals (naturally). Unless I have mentioned otherwise, Elements have no off-color bonuses nor channeling ability nor bribery icons. Some Notes are at the bottom of the page.

Air, Earth, Fire and Water:

• Earth Elemental, Vitality 18, OCB 9 Large, +2 in the Dry Heaps.
  
• Fire Elemental, Vitality 14, Medium-sized, Flying, +2 in the Woods and 4-pt fire AOE.
  
• Greater Air Elemental, Vitality 16 Large, Flying, +6 vs flying creatures. (Note A)
  
• Water Elemental *, Vitality 12, OCB 6, Large, +4 in Rivers & Lakes. (Note B)

Air+Water, Water+Earth, Water+Earth (again), Earth+Fire, Fire +Air

• Vapor Elemental, Vitality 11 Large, Flying, Channeling Receiver. When played in a match-up, opponent must discard any Items in Combat hand.
  
• Mud Elemental, Vitality 8, OCB 2 Medium-sized, +4 in Swamps.
  
• Ice Elemental, Vitality 15, OCB 6 Medium-sized, +4 in Mountains.
  
• Magma Elemental, Vitality 9, Large, 4 point ranged-attack.
  
• Smoke Elemental *, Vitality 13, OCB 0, Medium-sized, Flying, immune to Mortals. Smoke gets in their eyes. (Note C)

Light, Dark, Energy and Fear:

• Light Elemental, Vitality 13, OCB 2 Large, Flying, Channeling Receiver,Destroys Darkness Elemental.
  
• Darkness Elemental, Vitality 13, OCB 3 Large,
  (C):Opponent must revealhis Combat Hand. You may choose to retreat before melee,but discard the Darkness Elemental to do so.
  
• Shadow Elemental *, Vitality 13, OCB 4, Large. +2 in Woods and Swamps. (Note D)
  
• Greater Energy Elemental, Vitality 12 Large Flying, Unlimited Channeling Receiver! CMP 2.
  
• Lesser Energy Elemental *, Vitality 5, OCB 0 Medium-sized Flying. Can receive up to 10 points of channeling. (Note E)
  
• Psychic Elemental *, Vitality 13, OCB 0 Medium-sized. 5 pt fear AOE that only affects Mortals. Fear-based attack.
  
• Fear Elemental *, Vitality 6, OCB 0 Medium-sized.
  (C):All primary attackers are +3 vitality vs. creatures affected by fear.

Miscellaneous:

• Vensuni Inferno Swarm, Vitality 6 (stacks as 14), OCB 4, Command: 11-pt AOE fire attack, discard entire combat hand
  
• Beer Elemental *, Vitality 6, OCB 3, Medium-sized. +10 versus Beer-bribable creatures. (Note F)

End of Part 1

Notes:

A - I didn't include a regular Air Elemental (as opposed to a "Greater" one) although I thought about it. Mostly because the Bantam Drake is already a smaller creature with a similar ability.

B - I'm curious what the actual stats would have been. When FPG closed shop, the next expansion was supposed to be "Seven Seas" and the theme was supposed to be "wet things" (according to Dave).

C - There was no Fire/Air Elemental and Smoke was a natural, except that there already is a Smoke Spirit. Since there's an Ice Spirit and Ice Elemental, it didn't bother me to make a duplicate here, either. Of course, if someone has a better name, I'll be happy to hear it. And I naturally needed a different ability. I toyed with the silly notion of something like "if in play and unbeaten, your Elementals are immune to Mortals", but I thought that was too much smoke.

D - I was not as happy with this one. "Shadow" is a great fantasy "element". But I couldn't think of a good, non-useless, not-overly-powered ability. I also couldn't decide what terrain had the most shadows. Woods can be dense, but Swamps are always depicted as dark and dreary. Jungles make me think "hot and sweaty" even though the jungles used to be referred to as "darkest Africa" and such.

E - Hey, why not? I kept the vitality low, so it wouldn't be a replacement for the Greater Energy.

F - At first, I thought about making him a destroyer, but I thought that might be a little much, so I make him an Elemental Giant Babe instead.

Outsmarting Myself!!

Now that I finished the Trifectas, I was looking for something else to post, preferably something that I still had the original HTML files for. (The Creature Class Critique files don't exist anymore -- I had to copy them from the Guardians Yahoo Group.)

I decided I was going to import my The Table of Elements.

Unfortunately, I created that file in Javascript, which I was experimenting with at the time, you know, to learn a new skill. I have NO IDEA how to import it other than to cut and paste the final page and then add all the formatting tags ... AGAIN.

sigh

Trifecta: Infinite Stones

Guardians Trifectas

Trifectas are interesting -- and sometimes deadly -- three-card combos for Guardians . . . if you can pull them off.

And watch out that you're not on the receiving end of one of them!

---

Infinite Stones

This one takes a little more than three cards, but three cards set it up. Submitted by KevinCron@aol.com.

Champs the Wonder Dog

Sacrificial Altar

Limited Big Time Rebate

Champs the Wonder Dog, for one stone, will go and retrieve any Item from your discard pile and Champs goes back into your hand as well. The Sacrificial Altar allows you to discard a card to gain a stone. Two sides of the same coin -- lose a stone to gain a card or lose a card to gain a stone. All you need is one Magic Item to start an endless cycle that doesn't get you anything.

The kicker: Limited Big Time Rebate. For every stone you spend this turn, you get half back at the end of the turn. That is, for every stone you spend on Champs, you get half back (rounded up, no less!).

Half of infinity is still infinity.

Other useful cards:

• Greater Energy Elemental: Can accept unlimited channeling -- and you have unlimited stones!
  
• Any other big channeler: You have the stones, use them.
  
• Guardian Angel: Any creature lost in battle is saved for one stone. It's a reusable Holy Grail. Of course, you have Champs to get back those Grails, anyway.
  
• Any standard bearer that requires spending stones: go for it.
  
• Do you see a pattern developing?

With Sikura as Guardian, your opponent will never be able to cast a Spell. Not Dispel Magic, not Summon Loghammer's Sapper, not Warwick's Banishment.

Forget the Terrain cards -- burn cards and stones for land.